^TM

Cheapo-Cheapo Airline Tickets

By Eye Lipson

Tracking down the cheapest airfare is easy...if you happen to have a genius IQ, 3 computers, 12 phone lines, and 25 hours a day to research the airlines. It also helps if you have a staff of 15 people to assist you in case you're one of those old fashioned people who likes to occasionally eat or sleep.

Of course it wasn't always that way. Prior to airline deregulation, fares were much simpler. Everybody received the same rate and you didn't have to worry that the person in the next seat got their ticket for $15.95 and a coupon from a box of Cocoa Puffs.

But after deregulation, some sadists in the airline-pricing department found out that they could generate a little more income if they added 36,446 new ticket plans every other day. Like a special rate for barefooted Australian speech therapists traveling from Tulsa to Toledo after 11pm in months with no vowels. Or a limited time offer for people between the age of 96 and 97 accompanying their grandparents on flights to states that rhyme with "Silly Boys."

And just when you finally think you found that rock-bottom cheapo-cheapo ticket price, you call the airline and discover that the one seat reserved for that rate was sold out about 7 years ago.

Maybe the greatest deal the airlines can offer me is the big big big savings I get when I realize that I can save the most money by staying home and just reading a good travel book. 

Hmmmm... wonder where I can get a cheapo-cheapo price on that book.

-Updated 3-30-99-

Back to TravelLady Magazine