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Mozambique, In The Nude

On another work related assignment, my young son, Ashley, and I were driving from Zimbabwe to Malawi and needed to make a detour through the Tete corridor in Mozambique as there was little chance that I would reach the Malawi border post before they shut that night. I was therefore forced to ‘camp’ under the Tete Bridge till day break.

Several fellow campers found my pathetic attempts at rigging our tent rather amusing. Eventually they took pity on me and came to my assistance, allowing me to direct the affair from a camping chair.  

At this juncture, allow me to explain about me and camping -- I don’t ‘do’ camping, in fact I loath any form of “outdoorsing” and camping must at the very top of my hate list. To me “roughing it” is staying in a hotel that doesn’t have room service or missing my weekly manicure.

But here I was, directing the affair of rigging my never before used two-man tent amongst village goats and cattle -- from the comforts of a camping chair. Ashley brought me a luminous yellow slug he found near the car. It was at this point I seriously began contemplating spending the night in the 4x4 instead.

Dinner that evening, so my local tent-riggers advised, was at Moo’s Shebeen -- a Shebeen in the true sense of the word; hot, dark, filled with African gewgaws. Local residents flocked there and ‘kicked back’ with a potent home brew called “Moo’s Cane for da pain” – a fruity rum punch garnished with a stick of sugar cane (that made my eyes water) served in worn enamel mugs. Live music was provided by the locals, using an assortment of utensils which, together with their voices, produced some of the most profound African music I’ve heard. I decided to ignore the tortoise-slow service and instead enjoyed the experience.

Philemon and Moo worked in a kitchen the size of a small sailing galley. Sweating like diamond miners, they put together three dishes for that evening’s menu entitled “Shebeen Cuisine for a Queen”.

“Shark-chow” was the first on the menu -- a thick ‘shark’ curry stuffed into a hollowed-out hunk of bread. Secondly came Mopani worms and chilli sauce and finally, Mogodu (black tripe and wild African spinach stew). A quietly reflected on our lunch earlier that day and yearned for tinned meatballs and 2 day old bread rolls; but decided to keep up appearances and went with Ashley’s Shark-Chow choice.

After several Cane’s, a stout beer and a healthy helping of Moo’s apricot brandy, distilled in her back room and aptly named “Jungle Juice”, I felt strangely at piece with the world and the prospect of camping seemed less daunting. My fellow campers and I (me piggy backing a sleepy Ashley) felt and stumbled our way back to the camp-site under a black moonless sky, the evening air a thick stew of humidity, with a torturous chorus of mosquitoes.

***

The following morning I was instantly woken by an unfamiliar sound. Instinctively I put my hands into my hair as I sat up into a spider, the diameter of a cup, which was dangling off a web spun in the ceiling of our tent. I screamed and brought my hands forward to shield my face from the monstrous hairy creature, and screamed again when I saw three luminous slugs on the back of my hand.

Ashley woke with a start and started to cry when he saw me hysterically clambering out of my sleeping bag. I looked past Ashley and screamed again when I saw where the unfamiliar noise that originally woke me had emanated from. The head of a wild snorting animal was pressed up against the tent’s window flap – it stared directly at me. I turned to look at the other window and saw another beast there too. At this point both Ashley and I were frenzied. We could not get out of the tent fast enough. When we eventually unzipped the front ‘door’ and clambered out, the wild horses that had been watching us ran off in the opposite direction that Ashley and I ran in. Ashley was crying because of the slugs on my hand and in my hair and I was frantic in trying to get them off.

When our hysteria eventually settled to a mild panic, I slowly became aware that an audience had gathered around us. I was overcome with a sense of self and realised I was butt naked.

In one swift movement I scooped Ashley up and ran back into the tent, my foot hooking on the centre door pole and bringing the tent down around us. Regardless, I pulled on my clothes and dressed Ashley and emerged a while later to a standing ovation.

Travel Tips

Where: Mozambique is in south-eastern Africa, on the Indian Ocean, bordering the Mozambique Channel, between South Africa and Tanzania.

Getting there: For direct flights to Mozambique see www.opodus.com  

Where to stay: Hotels in Mozambique: Polana Hotel, mail@hpolana.uem.mz  and Hotel Cardoso, hcardoso@zebra.uem.mz .

Activities: Mozambique has great potential for anybody keen on wild animals and hiking but, tragically, the presence of nearly a million land mines in national parks and mountain areas (and throughout much of the country) means these activities aren't yet available. Travellers to the South will enjoy the splendid beaches of Ponta do Ouro. This beautiful resort is one of the best locations for diving in the world and its waters are alive with many species of marine life including dolphins, Manta ray and the occasional shark for the more adventurous. The shoals of tropical fish fill the coral reefs with an ever-changing spectrum of colour. To the North of Maputo, in the province of Gaza, are the famous beaches of Bilene and Xai-Xai. Their well equipped resorts offer you a choice of water sports, fishing and relaxation in the luxurious setting that will entice you to stay longer and return time and time again. Further on up the Coast, around the city of Inhambane, are Tofo and many other secluded beaches, some of which are accessible only by four wheel drive vehicle. Travellers to Vilanculos  will be tempted to linger a while at the self-contained luxury resorts of the Bazaruto Archipelago. Many of these resorts can arrange boat hire for those who enjoy a spot of deep-sea fishing. Out of range of most travellers by road are unexplored to the North of Beira, Quelimane and Nampula. On the way you will find the historic town of Angache, which bears the influences of the Arab and Swahili peoples who have trade along this coast for centuries. Tourists travelling to the interior of the country will be enthralled by the beauty of Lago Niassa, the vast lake which borders Tanzania and Malawi. This is one of the wildest places in Mozambique and is not for the fainthearted, however the rewards are great for those who persevere with the journey and here you will find beautiful, undeveloped countryside with the true feel of Africa. The sandy beaches of Pemba and the remote Quirimbas Archipelago are spectacular. The many small Islands in this area are true treasures isle, with their wealth of marine life and unspoilt beaches. Dotted along the shoreline are the silhouettes of the dhows, which have been fishing along this coast for centuries. This peaceful way of life creates an atmosphere of calm relaxation for the weary traveller.

Climate:
The average temperature for Mozambique is around 28ºC all year round. The climate varies slightly according to the regions of the country. The coast experiences a sub-tropical climate while the northern parts of the county are tropical. Generally, the hot rainy season is from October to March. The average temperature along the coast is 31º C (88º F). Inland, temperatures are slightly cooler, but conditions are more humid. In the dry season, April to September, temperatures along the coast average 27ºC (80ºF). Summer is from October to March and winter is from April to September.

• Valid visa, which should be obtained prior to your visit, please note: if the period issued on your visa is exceeded, hefty fines will be charged for everyday overstayed.

• Current driver‘s license or International driver’s license ( a Mozambican driver’s license is required if staying for more than  6 months)

• If entering the country with more than $5,000, a “Declaration of entry of foreign currency” must be completed at the customs desk. The Declaration must be shown if leaving with more than what you arrived initially arrived with

• The gift allowance is $100 -- import duty must be paid on gifts above $100 in value.

Drive Safely in Mozambique:

• Give way to the right. At traffic circles or roundabouts, cars on the circle have priority.

• The transit laws in Mozambique require that seat belts are worn at all the times and all vehicles must have two emergency triangles.

• The speed limit is 70km on open roads and 40Km/h in cities and towns.

• Traffic laws should be followed at all times and please request a receipt if a fine  is levied for any transgression.

• All documents and luggage can be inspected at checkpoints.

• It is best to keep your tank filled as the distances between filling stations can be great and try to drive during day time hours when there is less chance of accidents.

• No drugs, firearms, or explosive materials can be brought into Mozambique. Also, third party insurance is compulsory

Documents needed for vehicles and boats:

• Vehicle’s original registration documents (or certified copies).

• A vehicle customs clearance form (available at the border post).

• Mozambican customs forms or temporary import permit for your vehicle and boat trailer.

• Mozambican 3rd party Insurance Document (also sold at the border post).

• Mozambican permit to launch your boat (obtainable from the local “Administracao Maritima “)

Currency
Mozambique's local currency is the Metical, however the US Dollar and the Rand are widely accepted. It is advisable to carry cash or Travelers cheques as credit cards are not widely accepted.

© Cindy-Lou Dale 2005

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