Thailand - A Trip to Remember

And Thailand – Do’s and Don’ts

by Michelle Larson

Thailand is an extraordinary vacation destination. The Thai’s are very peaceful and reserved. At each of our hotels we were treated with such graciousness and incomparable hospitality. The women are sweet and humble. The men are happy and so friendly. Even the poorest people that we saw seemed to be content. Everyone smiles and bows with prayer hands to their face saying, “sawasdee ka”, which means hello. The people that we bought items from or dined with, or who drove our taxi or boat, all of them, were so warm and such a pleasure to be around.

I have been to many places in the world and Thailand is one of the most beautiful countries I have seen. The Buddhist temples, the landscape, the countryside, the rivers and waterfalls, the beaches, everything was such a sight to see. Even simply observing everyday life became interesting and amusing. The food and flower markets with all of the colorful and exotic varieties that we don’t see at home. The gold and glitter of the temples and the Buddha images that are so respected and cherished, the handmade crafts, woodcarvings, jewelry, textiles; beautiful and made with such pride.

The Thai people are very spiritual. They honor their religion completely. Not only through prayer and mediation, but through daily offerings. Every Thai household, business or building has a “spirit house” in front. This is where each person places their offering each day. It could be flowers, a glass of juice, cookies, coins or any number of things. We learned a lot about the monks. We were so curious about these mysterious boys and men who seem to be everywhere in their saffron colored robes. Each Thai man has to be a monk at some time in their life. They can choose the time, unless it is determined that they will be a little monk, then the parents make the decision. Serving as a monk will allow you and your parent’s passage to heaven. We asked a few of the men that we met, when, and for how long they were monks. Phruet was 35 and served for three months. Another man we spoke with was 24 and served for three hours. When you are a monk you must live in the temple. You shave your head and wear only the required robe. You rid your life of vanity and material possessions. You cannot work. The community provides food and other daily necessities. You cannot touch a woman. You must live with peace in your heart and be ever mindful of your behavior and presence. Become like Buddha. It seems a heavy task. Most fulfill their duty and live a normal life. Some commit themselves forever.

More than ninety percent of Thais are Buddhist. There are five rules that a commoner must live by as a Buddhist: Do not steal, do not kill, do not lie, do not cheat, and do not commit adultery. The last one though we found interesting, because in an honest discussion we had with our guide, we were told that it is very common for a man in Thailand to have a wife and a concubine, sometimes many concubines. One of the men himself has one and his wife has met her. He says, that she is understanding. It made us wonder. We asked if his wife then could have a boyfriend. He said,  “absolutely not, if she was with another man it would mean divorce.” Humm, can you say double standard. It is also common for a much older man to have a concubine who is very young - as young as 12 or 13. To most of us this is appalling. To the Thai people is seems to be very acceptable. Maybe this is why they do not have a problem with foreigner men coming to their country for the sole purpose of finding a young Thai girl to have sex with. We didn’t see but a few of these men that I would consider pathetic and revolting, although the ones that we did see looked like disturbed pedophiles. They were at least 50 years older than the girls and incredibly unattractive. We saw them getting on planes to an exotic island or walking around the night market buying the girl gifts. The girls, unbelievably, seemed happy enough to be participating. They probably think that this is their ticket out and maybe it is, but I would say it is too heavy a price to pay.

The king of Thailand is eighty years old. Everyone says they love the king. There are huge posters of him everywhere you look. Long Live The King, the signs say. The longer we were in the country and the more people that we met, we realized that no one ever has anything but praise for the king. We were told about many projects that the king has implemented, including ridding opium farms in the north by training the people to grow viable crops and offering drug rehab. Helping farmers modernize their equipment and processes, building awareness of safe sex due to the HIV epidemic. This is apparently a big problem mainly because of the prostitution that goes on. The people of Thailand can see progress. Phruet, who is 41 years old, said that he grew up on a farm and they only thing they had to eat was sticky rice and only twice a day. The Thai people are very small. The average height is maybe 5’. He equates this with a lack of nutrition when they were kids. He says the younger generation is bigger, taller and healthier. There is definitely not a lack of food. The markets and street stands are everywhere offering so much variety and quantity. The younger generation is also more educated and is working in the city more and more. They don’t want to work the rice fields. Bangkok is a big city with lots of opportunity to work in business. They are desperately trying to keep up with the times.

I would guess that more than 60% of Thai people work for themselves. The food stands, farmers, craftsmen selling their goods, the tuk-tuk drivers; they are all entrepreneurs. They only take cash for payment, that way they don’t have to pay taxes. So if, let’s say, 60% of the people of Thailand don’t pay taxes where does the money come from for social services? It’s understandable that most people can’t spare the money to pay to the government. They are barely getting by as it is. It does shed some light on some of the inadequacies though.

We will be forever grateful for the time that we spent in this country and the wonderful people that shared their time and their lives with us. The cultural differences are what make a trip like this so incredible. We already know how we live. I feel so fortunate to be able to have a glimpse at another way of life, a life filled with some of the happiest, most humble and tolerant people I have come across, it’s what keeps me venturing into the world for the next amazing experience.  

Do’s and Don’ts in Thailand

One of the main reasons people travel is to explore and establish how other countries and cultures do things. It is then quite remarkable to see people wandering around the kingdom imposing their own approach on the situations and events they encounter. Often these leads to confusion, or worse, it sometimes leads to ugly scenes that are entirely avoidable with a modicum of insight on how things are done in Thailand. What follows  is a list of Do’s and Don’ts for when you are in the kingdom:

The Monarch - The monarchy is revered by all Thai’s, and people simply will not tolerate any lack of respect towards any members of the royal family – past or present. Criticisms of the king and royal family are not just frowned upon in Thailand; it is against the law – a punishable offense that is taken very seriously.

Religion - Thailand’s national religion is Buddhism (although there are significant numbers of Muslims and a minority group of Christians) and it is very important to be respectful as far as the religion is concerned. Always dress ‘politely’ when entering a temple or religious shrine. As you are in a hot country, your perspective of polite dress might be colored by the situation you are in. However, shorts, bikinis, tops that show your bare arms, skirts that show your legs, open-toed sandals and generally dirty or unkempt attire is considered inappropriate. In some of the larger temples like Wat Prakeaw, guards will actually forbid you from entering if you are dressed inappropriately, and you may have to rent sarongs cover yourself up before being permitted to enter. At the smaller temples you are own your own – do the right thing!

Buddha Images - Buddha images are sacred, whatever size or condition. Never climb on a Buddha image, and be very careful about taking – some images are so sacred photographs are forbidden. Abide by this rule or you may even be asked to leave. If you can’t cross your legs, don’t sit on the floor in front of a temple’s Buddha image – in doing so you will point your feet at the Buddha, which is an act of sacrilege.

Monks - Buddhist monks are not allowed to touch or be touched by a woman, or accept anything a woman might offer. If a woman wants to give something to a monk it must first be given to a man, or put on a piece of cloth. The monk will then drag the cloth to him before picking the item up. Likewise a monk will not shake a man’s hand – this type of contact is forbidden. Monks travel on public transport and require the same respect they would receive at the temple. If a bus or train, etc. is crowded and a monk is likely to come into contact with people, do not hesitate to give the monk your seat. Often special seats are allocated for monks only – don’t sit in them!

Shoes - Do not wear shoes inside a temple where Buddha images are kept. Take your shoes off before entering someone’s home.

Greetings - Thai’s do not shake hands; they ‘wai’ – a gesture made by placing your hands together in front of your face and bowing a little. Generally, you should not wai to a child, and a younger person should wai an older person first. However, these rules are a little more flexible as far as foreigners are concerned. The Thais you wai will generally very much appreciate you delving into the local custom and practice.

The Head - Whereas in the west, a friendly pat on the head, especially the head of someone a bit younger than you, will be regarded as a nice and supportive gesture, in Thailand any gesture towards the head will cause Thais to recoil and will be greeted with shock and possibly annoyance. Thais regard the head as the highest part of the body – the temple of the body as it were. As such, touching someone’s head is entirely unacceptable.

The Feet - Whereas the head is the highest point of the body, the feet are the lowest. Do not point at things with your feet, and do not point the bottom of your feet at anyone.

Shouting and Shows of Annoyance - In Thailand shouting and shows of annoyance are entirely frowned upon, whatever the situation. There may be times when you face frustrations. Do so quietly and calmly. Shouting and showing annoyance are signs of lack of discipline.

Drugs - Thailand takes drugs very seriously and is trying to eradicate unlawful drugs entirely. Don’t either partake or trade in illegal substances. Clubs and places of entertainment are sometimes raided and people made to put forward urine samples. If you test positive, penalties will be harsh. Trading in drugs will lead to the death penalty or likely decades in prison.

General - Kissing, cuddling and similar behavior are frowned upon if in public – especially amongst older Thais. Younger Thais are unlikely to be as shocked, but to avoid their possible discomfort, avoid the behavior.

Thais are generally shy people and few are likely to walk up to you and engage in conversation. If this happens, and the conversation moves towards the purchase of gems, gold, jewelry or other such items, beware. Every year people get caught up in purchases of items at entirely inflated prices that have little or no value because they are told they can sell these items at a profit in their home countries. If something seems too good to be true – it is.

Smoking in the street is illegal – you can be fined 2,000 Baht.

Dropping litter in the street is illegal – the same fine applies.

Do not engage in the purchase of wild animals whether protected or not. Aside from the moral issues, punishments are very harsh.