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The Exotic EroticBy Roz Plotzker
This isn’t just an Italian phenomenon. Right when I was about to write this article I got an email from a friend at Penn, “We were at St. Elmo's when my friend Chris said he had this other party he wanted to go to, so we went out with him. Only we didn't really think about it, but he's got a minor Asian fetish and he took us to an Asian party. The rest of us felt so awkward and he was having the time of his life. Even the Korean kid who was with us felt weird.” Personally, I don’t blame the Korean kid for feeling weird. I’ve heard complaints from Asian girl friends that say that when someone is interested in dating it’s hard to tell if there’s an actual attraction, or if it’s another guy who is into Asian chicks, unless he’s Asian too. Obviously there are tons sexual stereotypes about ethnicity: Redhead girls are “fiery”, Latins are romantic lovers, Black men are hung, Asians all use Kama sutra, WASPs are frigid in bed, Catholic girls are easy and they all own plaid skirts, and Jewish girls won’t swallow (because it’s not kosher). Even here in Italy, there’s a stereotype that Mediterranean women are promiscuous. What is it about being foreign that’s sexy? Is it just the thrill of someone different? The novelty is probably part of the attraction. According to the American Heritage dictionary “exotic” can mean 1) Foreign, 2) Intriguingly unusual or different; excitingly strange or 3)Of or involving striptease. It’s sexy to be something else, which might be why I’ve been getting so many questions from friends at home about whether or not I’ve hooked up with an Italian stallion yet. Nobody is ever interested if I’ve hooked up with an American, (or even a Canadian…) But that still doesn’t explain where the specifics come from. Why should Latins get to be romantic while WASPs are stuck being ice queens. On a display table in the local Borders in my hometown last summer there was a book about Black sexuality. At first I was annoyed, because it seemed racist. I told my friend Liza about it: “I just don’t understand how there could be ‘Black sex’” to which she responded, “Well is there such a thing as Black culture?” The sexual stereotypes that people have, in my opinion, are based on general cultural stereotypes that are projected onto sex. It comes through in all kinds of areas: sexual responsibility, promiscuity, privacy, how experimental or reserved a person is, sexual expression, pornography, sex work, etc. It’s hard to say if this is a one or two way street, whether the culture is influencing the sexuality, if it’s the other way around, or if it’s reciprocal. Sexuality is such a basic part of culture, and it underlies so many other aspects of how people act, and what society expects, that it’s hard to differentiate the two. When someone finds an ethnicity sexy, the attraction is probably also towards other aspects of that culture, as well as the novelty. When I told my friend Dan I was writing about ethnicities for this week he told me he’d hooked up with 5 different races (White, Black, Hispanic, Asian, and Indian). “And?” I said. “They all have boobies. I mean it’s not much of a conversation piece, but I keep it in my bag of tricks,” he said. Contact information |
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TM
Italy, or maybe Europe in general, is kind of a creepy
place for American girls. My friends and I are noticing that we get stares
the minute we start speaking English in public. Especially my blonde
friends. All through Greece my almost-albino friend was compared to a
goddess because of her naturally platinum hair. Holy Helen of Troy. What’s
more, my poor roommate, with long flowing golden tresses, was recently
propositioned on a subway by an Italian twenty-something with a mullet and
crooked teeth. His friend translated for him. All the way up the escalator
we listened to him profess his love for her from 20 feet away, “Ah am in
loves wit you!” while we exited the metro.
Luckily, little brunette me doesn’t have to deal with
quite as much attention as my blond friends do; but even at clubs or
restaurants just being American brings trouble. Just being able to sing all
the words to TLC’s I don’t want no scrubs without an Italian accent is
enough to turn on some guys at a discotheque. If a girl or two in our group
is blonde a swarm of Italians suddenly appears (maybe it’s contagious?). For
the first time in our lives, we’re exotic, and people are attracted to use
because of it.