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Scotland: It's a Guy ThingEighteen Shots to a BottleBy Marguerite JordanWhy do full-length golf courses have 18 holes? And not 20, or 10, or an even dozen? During a discussion in 1858 among the club's board at St. Andrews, one of the members pointed out that it takes exactly 18 shots to polish off a fifth of Scotch. By limiting himself to only one shot of whisky per hole, the Scot figured a round of golf was finished when the Scotch ran out. And, now you know…the rest of the story. Like many tales you’ll hear in Scotland, this is probably apocryphal. But it sounds right, doesn’t it? It has that rakish air, that masculine overtone. Like Scotland itself.
EIGHTEEN GREAT THINGS TO SEE OR DO IN SCOTLANDYet, Scotland is a country that has given us the likes of Rob Roy, Braveheart, and Sir Walter Scott. In the present century it proffers manly types like Sean Connery, Robbie Coltrane and Ewan MacGregor, even if they are only acting. When you look at the landscape, ‘the land of brown heath and shaggy wood’ (Sir Walter Scott), you know it breeds a strong people. Geologically speaking, it is ancient, combining mountains, wilderness, Arctic landscape, as well as the classically pretty woods and lakes. Some of the toughest sports in the world are pursued here. Who can overlook the Great Putt of the Inverness Stone at The Highland Games or the wonderfully-named sport of Munro-Bagging that attract the brave and the hardy? Hunting, biking, sailing, and countless other sports are played here, often in weather conditions that would deter a sportsman somewhere else. Why, even golf requires more strength and focus, swinging your ball into the wind on links courses right next to the sea. Here are eighteen top reasons -- Places, People and Pastimes – that guys I know have given for visiting Scotland, in no particular order. Track them down on your next trip.
Glasgow is home to the Royal Scottish Opera, the Scottish Ballet, and the National Orchestra. There is a Mayfest, an arts festival, and in June and July folk and jazz festivals, plus, in August, the World Pipe Band Championships. If you like to shop, Glasgow has more stores than any other Scottish city and is a good place to buy Scottish goods, such as sweaters, tweed, or even a full Highland outfit, to get you set for the Highland Games. http://www.glasgowguide.co.uk/ 2. HIGHLAND GAMES The Games that Highlanders play go way back in history, no doubt to the time when they represented rivalry between valleys and a kind of dress rehearsal for war. Want to go up against the burliest, strongest man in Scotland? You can run into a lot of them at Highland Games events held all over the country every summer, but I’d be most afraid of the Shot-putter, he who hurls the 22 to 28-lb. stone the farthest. The weight is thrown with one hand only from in front of the shoulders. A run not exceeding 7ft 6ins is allowed up to the trig which is a length of wood 4ft 6ins long and six inches high. Usually the shot-putter is a big burly guy, his broad shoulders neatly offsetting his kilt. Or, think you can compete with the fellow who tosses the caber, the giant telephone-pole-like piece of wood weighing 150 pounds and eighteen feet long? Long before the Survivor shows, men in Scotland were competing in daring competitions to see who was the strongest. The competitions today include the hammer toss, tugs of war, cycling and running races, as well as competitions of culture. Typically, the chieftains of the clan dress in full regalia and parade over to the playing fields to the music of the bagpipes and that is just the beginning of the festivities. Dancers dance, singers sing, pipers pipe some more. Inverness is just one of the locations where a visitor can see a panoply of Scots doing what they do best. If you are inclined, you can sign on to participate in some venues. Before a summer visit, go online to see where the Games will be played on the dates you will be visiting. Each locale claims to be the best.
http://www.invernesshighlandgames.com/
The label given to his work varies, but since it was done in the time period of Art Nouveau (or, “Liberty” or “Secessionist” as they call it in Europe) it is very much an original and individualistic style, and is, to my taste, especially his furniture, one with very masculine overtones. Once you have walked through an exhibit of his work, you will recognize his influence in today’s furniture stores. High-backed chairs, architectural details, a mixing of light and dark, all are part of Mackintosh’s signature.
In Glasgow, you can try many different kinds of pubs, from the old style to the latest yuppie enclave. For drinks, and usually some food, places like October Café, the Drum & Monkey, and the old Pot Still are three good choices. What you find in every pub will vary, but surely it is one of the very best places to meet the local people. http://www.thepotstill.co.uk/ 5. MUNRO-BAGGING. Travel around the countryside and try to climb all 284 of the mountains that are 3,000 feet or taller. This is like climbing Mount Everest, minus the oxygen canisters and more spread out. Some Munro’s are almost sheer stone, like the Pap of Jura. Others may represent a pleasant Sunday outing, but, to do them all, takes planning, skill and stamina. It’s definitely not for sissies. To see what goes into this sport, log onto www.ancrum.org .for some wonderful accounts of a Munro club’s activities. The Ancrum Mountaineering Club of Dundee marked 2002 International Year of the Mountains in style by climbing all 284 Munros during the year. The aim of the IYM challenge was to have a member climb to the top of every Munro before the year was out and nearly all of the club members took part bagging between one or as many as 40 Munros each. http://www.munromagic.com/ 6. CORBETT-CLIMBS Not yet ready for prime time? Try doing the 219 Corbetts, Scottish hills between 2,500 ft. and 3,000 ft. as well as many other popular lower hills. Popular classics include Criffel, Tinto, The Pentlands, The Eildons, The Ochils, Ben Venue, Mount Blair, Bennachie, Stac Pollaidh, Suilven and a wide range of hills throughout the islands, from Lewis to Arran. This too takes planning and strength. http://www.smc.org.uk/
In addition, the Fringe Fest, started as an alternative to the more proper EF, brings in up and coming bands and singers and dancers. If music is your bag, then this must be the best month of all to visit Edinburgh. For tickets and a full list of events, go online at www.eif.co.uk. 9. HOTEL CHANNINGS One of the country’s finest small hotels is located in Edinburgh and offers fine ambiance for your stay while touring the city and the region. Hotel Channings is in reality five townhouses on a cobbled street, about ten minutes from Princes Street, the main shopping street. Some rooms have stunning views across Edinburgh to the hills beyond. Channing's has an award-winning, traditional Brasserie, while the Mediterranean-style Wine Bar & Conservatory provides a contemporary setting for drinks and light meals. An additional top place to eat in town is at the 36 Restaurant located at the Howard, a sister hotel. Be sure to try the 36 desserts. A wide range of short breaks are available at Channings, and also at sister hotels, The Bonham and The Howard. All make a fine base for exploring the region of the Trossachs. http://www.townhousecompany.com/ 10 . TROSSACHS = BRAVEHEART/ROB ROY. During the Ice Age, glaciers gouged out this land of great stark beauty, where today wildcats, pine martens and prehistoric goatlike soay sheep live. Nearly any movie you have ever seen with a Scottish theme has had at least some portion filmed in this beautiful region of rushing rivers and wooded glens. There is some debate about exactly where the region begins and ends, but it is usually said to include Loch Katrine (Sir Walter Scott’s “Lady of the Lake”), Loch Ledi, Loch Lomond and hills by the dozens. For many, the Trossachs is considered the most romantic part of Scotland for its beauty and for its connections to Sir Walter Scott, Braveheart (William Wallace), and Rob Roy Macgregor, a herdsman who became a Scottish Robin Hood. http://www.lochlomond-trossachs.org/ 11. SALMON
FISHING Scratch a fisherman and he will tell you that his goal is to
fish every lake, river and stream in Scotland. .On the west coast you will
find hundreds of small spate rivers, streams and lochs, while in the east
you find the Tay, Tweed, Dee and Spey. Further north is Caithness and
Sutherland which is a patchwork quilt of lochs streams and rivers. Even on
the islands quite exceptional fishing can be found.
Every bedroom and bathroom is decorated in a different refined style, reminiscent of Laura Ashley, but with authentically old fabrics and prints. My favorite room had a bathtub in the middle of a giant bathroom, with a window that looked out over the garden to the water beyond. Live here in luxury for several days while touring other famous castles nearby: Crathes, Fyvie, and Glamis (GLAAHMS), the late queen mother’s favorite residence. www.visitdunkeld.com/muchalls-castle.htm 13. FALCONRY, BIRD-HUNTING, BIRD-WATCHING Travel up toward the northern Highlands and you will come to Skibo Castle, a hotel to take your breath away. As a guest here you can learn about the art of falconry, one of the sports of kings. Owner Peter de Savary reports that in the old days (when Andrew Carnegie lived here), “all great houses had a falconer, who served as entertainer and forager, bringing home fresh rabbits, grouse and partridge.” The current falconer Andrew MacLeod, tends to 16 barn owls, falcons and eagles. Staff can arrange pheasant and grouse shooting, and can teach you the fine points of clay-pigeon shooting. Throughout the land Scotland is a birdwatcher’s paradise. On coastal and inland outings, some birds to see are golden and sea eagles, puffins, osprey, ptarmigans and gannets. Between Orkney and Shetland, to the north, birdwatchers delight in the Fair Isle bird observatory. http://www.carnegieclub.co.uk E-mail athompson@carngeieabbeyclub.com for information about Skibo Castle’s many other offerings.
During the summer months numerous ferries leave from the mainland, while winter is a chancier thing. For maps, links to bus services and prices log onto Caledonian MacBrayne, the major ferry operators to the Scottish Islands . http://www.calmac.co.uk 15. CYCLE TOURS You can do a simple family outing on a no-speed bicycle or you can participate in some serious off-road mountain-biking. Cyclists find Scottish ‘A’ roads quite untrafficked. Avoid roads altogether with trails and waymarked routes. Sustrans has created 1300-miles of National Cycle Network in Scotland. Long distance, signposted routes run from Carlisle through Glasgow to Inverness, from the Firth of Clyde to the Firth of Forth and from Berwick upon Tweed to Edinburgh, Aberdeen and John O’Groats then on to Orkney and Shetland. http://nt4845.vs.netbenefit.co.uk/welcome.htm
According to one of the many Burns’ Night sites, A Burns' Night supper must always begin with Burns' own Selkirk Grace : "Some hae meat and canna eat, And some wad eat that want it; But we hae meat and we can eat, And sae the Lord be thankit." The menu usually consists of cock-a-leekie soup (or Scotch Broth) and haggis with "tatties and neeps" (also known as clapshot - don't ask me why!), Tipsy Laird (sherry trifle to you and me) followed by oatcakes and cheese, all washed down with liberal tots of good Scotch whisky! The haggis is "piped" in - brought in ceremoniously by the chef accompanied by a piper - and "addressed" with Burns' own Address to a Haggis poem before being cut and served. Traditional speeches and toasts punctuate the meal (...more Scotch...) and Burns' Night suppers range from the formal to the frankly uproarious excuse for yet more partying, but they all follow the same basic format. http://www.geocities.com/traditions_uk/burnsnight.html And, saving the best for last: 17. LINKS COURSES Golfers who play in Scotland always remark on the roughness of most courses. True players say that’s how it should be. Links golf courses are so named because the property the game was played on was linked to the sea. As you know offshore winds can add a challenge to any shot, as can real sand traps and waving tall grass. Scotland has more than 400 golf courses, but the following seven are legendary. Carnoustie The course Walter Hagen called the best in
Britain.
http://www.linksland.com/ 18. WHISKY You didn’t think that Scotch whisky would be left out? See: MORNING NOON AND MIDNIGHT SCOTCH this issue. Speaking of which, there are two whisky festivals in 2003: Spirit of Speyside - Friday 2 May to Monday 5 May; Autumn Speyside Whisky Festival- Friday 26 September to Monday 29th September. Further details will go on the www.dufftown.co.uk website as they become available. ADDITIONAL RESOURCES FOR PLANNING A GUY TRIP
Scottish Tourist Board British Tourist Authority Brochures and Travel Information
http://www.aboutscotland.co.uk Thistle
Hotels
Virgin Atlantic Airlines Text and images, copyright, Marguerite Jordan |
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TM
For some reason(s), every man I know who has ever visited
Scotland is plotting a return. It must be A Guy Thing. Which, when you think
about it, is oddly counterpoint to all these Scottish ‘Men in Skirts’.
Wearing pompoms on their hats, dancing The Fling and using words like “wee”
and “twee” and “bonnie” and “nitey-night”, in any other place, they would be
considered, well, Lassies. 
1. GLASGOW-A-GO-GO For the most fun in one Scottish
city, my pick is Glasgow. Once considered a slum and a backwater, it is now
a vitalised city that attracts the young and those who think young. The dark
brick Victorian buildings from its days as an industrial center are
interspersed with wonderfully inventive modern structures, including the
town’s Convention Center, whose roofline resembles Sydney, Australia’s Opera
House. My cabby called it “Nuns in a Scrum.” Everyone you meet seems to have
a way with words and a story to tell; as one guidebook put it, Glaswegians
are canny and rambunctious.
3. SCOTTISH ARCHITECTURE Outstanding architecture by
the country’s foremost practitioner, Charles Rennie Mackintosh, can be seen
around Glasgow. His work is viewable on the street (several buildings and
his one remaining teashop) and in museums.
4. PUBS In a country so dominated by whisky, you may not realise that
it is also possible to get other kinds of drinks, some manufactured within
the country and some without. So, while in Scotland, try out some other
popular drinks, such as: ale, beer, Cosmopolitans, Drambuie (whisky
liqueur), Gingermac (whisky and ginger wine), Shandy (beer and lemonade),
gin, and of course, fine wines from all over the world.
7. ELEGANT EDINBURGH
Sometimes considered the second-city of the United Kingdom, it is certainly
one of the most beautiful small cities in all of Europe. Located 45 miles
from Glasgow, it is home to all things formal about the country, including
its seat of government. One especially interesting feature is the ‘New
Town’, a section built in the 1800’s, when the city drained the Nor’ Loch.
Here you will see private formal gardens, row houses and perfectly laid out
neighborhoods. Edinburgh Castle, situated on a high bluff, is an interesting
place of history. Tour it and the Royal Mile, the Palace of Holyroodhouse,
St. Giles Cathedral. 
8. EDINBURGH FESTIVAL During August, thousands throng to this, one of
the finest performance venues of Europe. Dance, music of all kinds,
including rock, pop, jazz and country, and theater are all must see’s. Hear
the Czech Philharmonic Orchestra and watch plays by the Royal Dramatic
Theater, and attend countless concerts.
12. GHOSTLY TOURS I started out in Scotland bemused
with all the talk of ghosts, but after visiting about ten places which lay
claim to one, I am inclined to believe they are real. My favorite ghostly
locale is Muchalls Castle, now a hotel of great charm. Owner Glenda Nichol
Cormack made me a believer, for theirs sounded like a friendly human type.
At night, rooks filled the trees surrounding the castle, their calls casting
an eerie spell, yet by day, the lovely garden of purple plants made
everything seem so sweet.
14. ISLANDS This topic
deserves its own Top Eighteen List, but suffice it to say that the islands
off the west coast are some of the most beautiful and spare that you are
ever likely to see. No man is an island, but in Scotland there are islands
without any people. There are almost 800 islands, of which only 130 are
occupied, some just barely. Choose among Islay, Jura, Mull, Skye, and
northward, Shetland and Orkney and find some of the most self-sufficient
people you will ever meet. Jura is among the least populated, whereas the
Island of Islay has small towns and a more social feel to it.
16.
SPECIAL EVENTS: Here are a few: Robert Burns’ Night, Boxing Day,
Hogmanay, Ne’erday; this country has celebrations year ‘round. The one that
brings a tear to a Scotsman’s eye is the celebration of the great man of
Scottish poetry (and some say, lust for life), Bobby Burns. His day is
celebrated on January 25th, in Scotland and around the globe.