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Camp Temptation

By David Currier

Many of you would say a traveler is not too bright to choose to go to a nude resort in the off-season. But I did, anyway. And it wasn't half bad. Actually, being there for the off-season weekend was relaxing. 

My boss told me it was time to use up some of my excess vacation days since I couldn't carry them to next year. So, I grabbed my copy of “Naked Places”, flipped the pages, and my finger fell on Hidden Springs Ranch near San Luis Obispo, CA. 

Resort reservations confirmed via email and a phone call, I made my car reservations on-line, got my airline tickets readied and I packed. The riddle of the trip was, "How does one not over pack for nude camping during a change in seasons?" I travel a lot, but I was concerned about the October weather - warm, sunny, even hot days but cold nights. I was going for four and a half days. 

I was "over dressed". The October nights were cool, the mornings foggy and the afternoons brilliant and warm. The good news was that I had no laundry to wash when I got home. The bad news was that with fewer clothes, I could have purchased more wines from famous local wines to fill my empty suitcase.

Nestled between the Santa Lucia Range and the Sierra Madre Mountains, mid-way between San Francisco and Los Angeles, Hidden Springs Ranch (HSR) is a hot destination in the middle of the California outback. Less than 45 minutes from the airport of San Luis Obispo, the ranch rests with it's back to the eastern hills so that guests enjoy the sun from mid-morning to sundown. For your naturist hiking enjoyment, the ranch provides a separate acre of possibilities for each of your 100,000 fantasies.

The hosts, Shane and Blair, have created a Garden of Eden for the gay male naturist.  (For reality, their guest book cautions about rattlesnakes, however, for the record, I did not see any apple trees.)

The gate to Hidden Springs Ranch opens onto rolling pasture. As my rental car climbed the hill toward the ranch, I laughed loudly as hundreds of ground squirrels scampered for their holes in the ground - like gray gophers. Flocks of quail scurried around picking up small bits of food. (Deer sometimes wander through the fields. And, being a working ranch, cattle may be chewing their cud as they bask in the sunshine.) 

Meandering around several giant oak trees, the dusty drive leads to a second gate that keeps out animals and uninvited visitors and maintains privacy and security for the guests. A quick left turn and you arrive in the lodging area.

Shane showed me to my cabin, one of three simple cabins that face a dry gulch at the back of the lot. Each cabin provides a queen bed and a twin - perfect for daddies with one child. ($85-$100)  A small five-drawer bureau and two drawers under the twin bed provide storage for your clothes.  If you over pack like I did, you'll need to store the excess in the trunk of your car.

A TV-VCR player for the ranch's collection of videos is in each room, along with a radio-alarm-CD player (bring your own favorites).

For showers and toilets, the individual cabins share the "wet area" in the building known as the showerhouse. The 'architecture' of the showerhouse and the way it backs into the hill remind me of the entrance to a gold mine. Here you'll find a steam room, a hot tub, showers, toilet area and vanity for doing the morning "make-up". A small refrigerator is provided for guests to share.

The shower-hot tub is area is housed in an A-frame structure with a transparent corrugated roof providing a great sunroom when you want to get out of the wind, watch the hunks or relax after a steam bath or hot tub session. 

Above the wet area is the loft, another single room sleeping facility with great views. 

HSR also provides a fully furnished cottage, a bit of elegance on the otherwise delightfully masculine Spartan ranch. The cottage provides a king sized bed, full kitchen, private bath, living area, satellite TV, VCR and fireplace. ($175-$210)

Additionally, a refurbished Airstream trailer home sits on a secluded lot with its private deck and fireplace. Sleeps 2. ($90)

The main ranch house offers a suite with a queen size bed and sleep sofa, satellite TV, VCR, and private bath. Accommodates 4 persons. ($140-$180)

Currently, sleeping accommodations for 20 are available. 

At the main house, guests from all quarters are invited to use the front and back deck and the hot tub. The back deck overlooks the private (manmade) lake where you can dive, splash around and float au natural.  Bring your own supply of beach towels.

A bunkhouse for 20, a gym and meeting rooms to provide for small conventions is under construction.  Ask about RV and tenting lots, too.

The beauty of Hidden Springs Ranch is sublime. At the top of the mountain trail behind the lake, your views of vineyards, pastures and 'purple mountains’ majesty' are breathtaking. Take a blanket or towel with you so that you can mix sun bathing with the exhilarating panorama of California’s scenery.

The ranch’s landscaping is minimalist at best, and works remarkably well - esthetically and functionally. Beautiful old native oaks, several varieties of evergreens, eucalyptus and other native trees surround the private compound where guests sun and frolic. The grounds are covered with fine sand so being barefoot is not a concern - unless you go hiking into the un-manicured pastures or hills.

Between the large sand based volleyball court and the lake is a fire pit where evening bonfires attract guests for wine or cocktails and conversations. This beautifully designed metal pit is encircled with a cutout of a cattle drive which creates flashing silhouettes in front of the evening's flames. (Guests frequently dress for this less-than-formal occasion because the evening air is chilly after a day baking in the sun.)

If you plan to stay for several days, your to-do list may include the following:

*  Visit nearly 100 wineries in the Paso Robles area – buy wine
*  Hiking or mountain biking around the ranch
*  A massage by Shane
*  Observe sea lions and seals at Piedras Blancas just above Hearst Castle
*  Spend some cash in the beautiful town of San Luis Obispo
    - national chains usually found in malls take residence on primary streets
    - art galleries
    - theaters
    - cinema
    - orchestra
    - various fabulous restaurants
    - fine coffee shops and cafes
    - the mission
*  Another massage by Shane (does a great job, and ain’t bad to look at either)
*  Spend the better part of a day at Hearst Castle, visiting artsy Cambria on the way  (watch the movie at the ranch instead of at the castle unless you are an I-MAX freak) (Save headaches – make advanced Hearst Castle reservations on-line!)
*  Avila Beach - nude, gay area (Don't take a heavy pack with you!)
Note: If the tide is high, there is little usable beach, even on the larger straight end, so check the tide schedule before you leave home:             www.saltwatertides.com/dynamic.dir/californiasites.html

HSR is miles from anywhere, so you won’t find a McDonald’s. The nearest town does have a couple local dining options and the small grocery store makes good sandwiches. Blair and Shane will recommend restaurants that meet your needs, but plan ahead to ensure you have breakfast and snacks available since meals are not provided.

Be sure to bring your cell phone, as there are no phones in the rooms and the nearest pay phone is two miles away. 

Hidden Springs Ranch website, www.temptationranch.com, provides more information and a short video about the ranch.  Unfortunately the hunky actors had checked out long before I arrived.  To ensure your privacy, specific directions to Hidden Springs Ranch are provided when your payment is received. Call 888-213-7733 for reservations or email your request to info@temptationranch.com. (Leaving soon? Check the weather on-line using the town of Paso Robles in your request. Hot summers come early to HSR!)

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