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Schmoozing With The Mud Skippers In MelakaBy Jane Cassie“Coming up on your right, ladies and gentleman, you’ll see Sean Penn snuggled up to Jennifer Lopez, and basking to your left, is the well known Madonna.”
A cobblestone bridge links the city’s main square to Chinatown and the world class alley of antiques, known as Jonker Walk. It also spans the muddy Melaka River where Bernd Goodtink’s comical river tour ride is preparing to wind down. “Melaka attracts visitors worldwide,” Goodtink shares,
“and I want to send you off with a goodbye
Getting There: Malaysian Airlines is well recognized for its superlative service, cuisine and hospitality. (1-800-552-9264) www.malaysiaairlines.com.my/ Where To Stay: Things to Do: Tourism Malaysia: Phone (604) 689-8899 (Toll Free: 1-800-689-6872); Fax: (604) 689-8804 Jane and Brent Cassie freelance for a number of publications Jane is president of BC Association Of Travel Writers http://www.bctravelwriters.com and can be contacted at janecassie@telus.net or through their web site at www.janecassie.com IMAGES BY JANE CASSIE |
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Although
it may sound like we’re guests to a Hollywood ho-down or fortunate ticket
takers to the prestigious Oscars, we’re, in fact, no where near the state of
California USA. Instead, our group of eighteen touring Canadians is half way
around the globe, cruising along a muddy tributary that bisects the town of
Melaka, on the west coast of Malaysia. And leading our excursion… is a very
comical and imaginative tour guide.
For
thirty-six years Bernd Goodtink has operated Paramiswara Tours and has
integrated his sense of humor with some of Melaka’s historical venues.
During this laid-back river cruise, we ogle over the six foot long lung fish
lizards that clamor over the waterway’s mucky shoreline. While flaunting
scaly hides and thirty-two razor sharp teeth, they share no resemblance
whatsoever with the well-known celebrities, but each one bares an adopted
famous name and is part of Bernd’s first class act. 
We
drift slowly in the Panama-style cruiser and pass by jerry built shacks that
swagger along the boggy banks like tired old tin men. Their tarnished crowns
are topped by sheets of corrugated aluminum and ramshackle torsos are
supported by toothpick thin stilts. Mudskipper fish flip flop at their grimy
front door stoops and the sixty-pound slimy lizards slither beneath. 
Smiling
women veer out over sun-splashed verandahs, appearing oblivious to the
creatures that crawl below, and their curious wide-eyed children gaze
inquisitively as we float by. Although the strands of airing laundry
indicate occupancy in others, many of the humble hovels are vacated, waiting
patiently for new face-lifts. “Over the next few years, the government plans
to invest mega ringgits to transform this muddy canal into a replicated
scene out of the 1700s,” Goodtink shares over the loud speaker. “It’ll be
like a vision right out of Venice.” We are informed that authentic
materials, such as hundred year old bricks, will be imported for
fabrication, primitive huts will be transformed into pastel abodes to imbibe
a Mediterranean feel, and gallant gondoliers will paddle past the historical
attractions that have already stood rooted for centuries. 
Although
checking out these heritage hot spots are also do-able on foot, my travel
companion daughter and I had literally wheeled by them earlier in the day,
on a person-powered trishaw. With Aman at the helm, we had cuddled on the
floral tricycle shrine without an inch to spare. If the tight squeeze and
flowery fan fare didn’t catch the eye of every passerby, tunes from the top
forty that blared out from our pedal pushing machine certainly did. While
jostling along sliver-thin roads that weave around the quaint township, we
said a silent prayer for ongoing strength in Aman’s quads, and hummed along
with the Back Street Boys. 
We
tootled through the town square where well preserved remnants imbibe the
glorious past and understood why this destination has been officially
declared the historical city of Malaysia. Period pieces like The Stadthuys,
which was initially the residence of the Dutch and Deputy Governors, stands
as proudly as it did when first erected in 1650. Its adjacent neighbour,
Christ Church that came along a century later, still boasts original
handmade pews and a tiled tale of the Last Supper. And A' Famosa, a
fortress that was built by the Portuguese in the early 1500’s holds the
record at being the granddaddy hallmark of them all. Although the structure
sustained severe damage during the Dutch Invasion, in 1808 a gent by the
name of Sir Stamford Raffles saved the heritage remains that are still being
toured today. 
From
Moorish style mosques and stately mausoleums to ornately decked out temples
and tired looking tombstones, Aman pedaled and pumped merrily through Melaka
while we reveled in the relics and relaxed. 
that
you are all accustomed to.” Broad-leafed jet fruit and flourishing rubber
trees provide a verdant canopy as we coast towards the home berth. And
before disembarking, the cruising comedian bids a farewell to just about
every nationality, using his own rendition. “To the French Aurevoir. To the
Spanish, adios. To the Britts, ya hoo. To the Texans, ya’ll come back now,
ya hear. And to all of you friendly Canadians, hope to see you later, eh!