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Food Irreverence: Oriental Desserts

Article and photo by Martha Hollis

Every time I try to eat Oriental glutinous rice desserts that nagging cry from my childhood tapes blares "Do not  swallow your gum."  As an international food adventurer, I must maintain an open mind about all
kinds of foods. After all I do care about world peace and showing proper reverence for my hosts' special creations.

But, does that include actually having to eat them?

My first time was in a private home outside Kyoto, Japan about 15 years ago. Upon entering the famous mycology professor's home, his wife presented the men with stiff glasses of whiskey and the ladies with pretty pastel-tinged sweet mochi balls (pounded and sweetened glutinous rice) on a stick. "What huge globs of double bubble," I chuckled to myself.

The dutiful wife, magnanimous in her hospitality, revealed that "Only the women in Japan like sweets."

Well, I had made a serious gender mistake at birth it seemed. Given the necessity to save face I proceeded to work on these balls. On the finger tips the balls bounced--"why not just let these babies roll on the floor or use them for a round of racket ball?" I silently mused.

Tearing off a small bite with my front teeth, I braced for the teeth's reverberations against the highly resistance fabric of this dense sticky rice.

"How can I keep my eyeballs from rolling around my head like the balls in my mouth?"

Progress was slow, the cool, resilience brushing my lips made it difficult to keep that sticky grin of faked enjoyment on my face.

One ball down, two more to dispose of, and "Oh, no here comes hostess with more! Maybe we could make a deal with Toys-Are-Us?"

Orientals like to slip things into desserts that I, as an Occidental,  consider unsuitable sweet corn (the rage in Singapore is sweet corn ice cream) and beans. The beans when sweetened are tossed with reckless abandon into all manners of items--the wildly popular shaved-ice creations with sweeteners and beans help relieve the heat. In countries where not many cows are working for other cold desserts, these goodies are everywhere. Yes, just imagine a slurpy with sweet, chewy beans swimming in it.

In a welcoming gestures, hotels leave plates of sweets in their guests' rooms. Naturally, I never, never eat these, but have developed a coping, destructive routine. The thicker ones are like playdough. Shape them, re-roll, shape again. They will stick to the windows. The more gelatinous ones, particularly those made in layers (and these requires a talent to get each layer the right consistency so it will set up properly) are thrilling to pull apart. It takes more skill than dismantling an Oreo cookie, but the cool chill on the fingers effects a cheap thrill. Squishing them through the hands and smearing it on the plate is guaranteed to produce a further rush.

And the colors are all so nice--many very unfood shades of blues and deep purple-reds.

Cendol, in Malaysia, elevated stickiness to new heights. Green legume beans, often in a powdered form, are mixed with liquid, forced through a device similar to the large holes of a grater and dropped into boiling water. The cooked little green squiggles, certainly as appetizing as worms, are the foundation for a chilled dessert doused with coconut milk and ice. The bad news is that chilling enhances their rubberization.

"Cendol?" offers the waiter. "Oh, no thank you. I have given up desserts for religious purposes."

I love the Orient, the food, the people, but the desserts... Give me an oatmeal raisin cookie and an extra large serving of low fat frozen yogurt any day.  

Martha Hollis, Travel Gourmet editor delights in pilgrimages to experience new taste sensations.

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